How Each of the Five Love Languages Shops at Aldi

Thirty years ago, a little book changed the way many people viewed relationships. Author and counselor Gary Chapman theorized in his New York Times Best Seller book The Five Love Languages that there are five general ways everyone expresses and receives love. Chapman called these “love languages.”

The five love languages are:

1. Acts of service
2. Gift-giving
3. Physical touch
4. Quality time
5. Words of affirmation

Having knowledge of these love languages can help us better understand ourselves, our romantic partners, our family members, our friends, and even co-workers. It’s a simple way to try to figure out what motivates others as well as determining what gestures of love, friendship, or appreciation will resonate most with particular people.

A lot of different people shop at Aldi, and a while back, we had fun with a post about how the various Myers-Briggs personality types might shop at Aldi. That post was such a hit that we decided to delve further into the realm of pop psychology, this time with a look at what each of the five love languages might do during their weekly shopping trip at our favorite discount grocery store.

So without further ado, here are our tongue-in-cheek guesses as to how each of the five love languages shops at Aldi.

Acts of Service:

Neatly stacks empty cardboard boxes when they spot them on the store floor and picks up miscellaneous fallen toys and lawn chairs in the middle aisle. So helpful they sometimes get mistaken for an Aldi worker. Buys ingredients to make a meal for a friend who just had surgery and also gets a cake mix to bake for a child’s upcoming birthday. Lets three different customers with only a handful of items go ahead of them in the checkout line. Helps a frazzled mom with a gaggle of children load her cart onto the conveyor belt. After loading their groceries in their car, they hand their cart off to a senior citizen to use. Uses their Aldi tire inflator to help someone with a flat tire in the parking lot.

Gift-Giving:

Intensely scours the middle aisle for potential bargains on presents for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, or just because. If Aldi offered its own store credit card, they’d be at the limit. That single serve coffee maker would make a great gift for their sister, and they’re definitely buying the Aldi grocery store playset for their nieces and nephews. Temporarily holds up shopping cart traffic when they can’t decide which knockoff Girl Scout cookies to buy for their best friend. Buys their cashier a Snickers candy bar and picks up gift cards for their hair stylist and for each of their children’s teachers. Occasionally pays for the person behind them in line. When they’re done shopping (can you ever be done shopping?), they pass their cart to another incoming shopper and tell them to keep their quarter. Goes home and fills a basket on their front porch with Aldi snacks and drinks for delivery workers.

Physical Touch:

Arrives late to the grocery store because they were busy hugging their kids goodbye before sending them off to elementary school. Buys the massaging heat wrap from the middle aisle, along with every fluffy blanket and pillow and sensory product they can get their hands on. Picks up a Sherpa fleece pullover for their spouse and a weighted blanket for one of their kids. Can’t wait for memory foam mattresses to return to Aldi. Before, checking out, they grab a bottle of Winking Owl wine and some gourmet cheese and crackers for a romantic evening back at home with their significant other on the Aldi outdoor sectional in front of their Aldi chiminea.

Quality Time:

Wrangles their significant other or a friend into coming shopping with them. Buys all the party games in the middle aisle, including pickleball and corn hole.  Aldi sells a giant Connect 4 game and life-sized Jenga set? They’ll take one of each, please. While they’re at it, they buy a large serving tray and a drink dispenser so they can enjoy snacks after playing oversized lawn games with friends. Also picks up several take and bake pizzas, a few bags of potato chips, a couple of boxes of canned soda, and some microwave popcorn for family movie night scheduled for the weekend. Blocks the produce aisle for a few minutes when they run into a friend and have a nice chat.

Words of Affirmation:

Stockpiles the greeting cards and sets of blank cards with envelopes whenever Aldi sells them. Is a sucker for the reversible mantel signs and throw pillows that say Live, Laugh, Love. Is obsessed with the Aldi planner that features affirmations sprinkled throughout the pages. Buys oranges and bananas to pack in their kids’ lunch boxes and writes fun and encouraging messages on the unpeeled fruit with a Sharpie. Makes a point to tell the stressed mom with the toddler throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle that she’s a great parent. Tells the harried cashier they’re doing a good job. Goes home and writes a positive review of their local store on Yelp.

Which of the five love languages are yours? Let us know in the comments below.