If You Give an Aldi Fan a Quarter

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is our unique take on two things we love. One, the popular “If You Give … ”  children’s book series by Laura Numeroff, and two, Aldi. 

If You Give an Aldi Fan a Quarter

If you give an Aldi fan a quarter, they’re going to want to go to Aldi.

When they get to Aldi, they’ll rent a shopping cart.

If they get a shopping cart, they’re going to want to fill it up. They’ll want a copy of the weekly Aldi ad to see what kinds of Aldi Finds they can put in their cart.

You’ll hand them your phone so they can look at the Aldi app.

On the app, they’ll see an air fryer for sale, which will remind them that they want to buy some “red bag” chicken so they can make chicken sandwiches.

They’ll go to the frozen food aisle to get the “red bag” chicken, and they’ll also grab a bag of orange chicken. Seeing the orange chicken will make them want to check the middle aisle for a wok. 

When they go to the middle aisle, they’ll discover a crate full of scented candles and spend several minutes sniffing all the candles — and asking you to sniff the candles — in an attempt to choose the perfect one. They’ll also find a cool-looking keychain quarter holder and get one of those, too.

They’ll see the air fryers and woks next to the candles and put one of each in their cart. Thinking about cooking in the air fryer will remind them they’ll want a side dish to go with their chicken sandwich dinner. They’ll decide to serve a salad, and they’ll ask you where the ranch dressing is.

Thinking about salad will remind them that they also want a fun dessert. They can’t decide between the knockoff Girl Scout cookies and the peanut butter cups, so they get both.

The peanut butter cups are located near the wine aisle, and they’ll remember they also want a bottle of Winking Owl wine. On the way to the wine aisle, they’ll pass the take and bake pizzas and won’t be able to resist buying a couple of them.

They’ll realize their shopping cart is pretty full now, so they’ll head to the checkout. Seeing how full their cart is will remind them that they’ll need to buy a few Aldi shopping bags to take all their stuff home in.

After they buy the bags and their groceries, they’ll be so excited about the deals they scored that they’ll be feeling generous. They’ll consider buying a Snickers bar for their cashier, and they’ll pass their cart along for free to another shopper.

Then they’ll drive home and put away their groceries. They’ll make a salad, and a chicken sandwich for dinner in their new air fryer.

After dinner, they’ll want to go outside for a walk, but when they grab their keyring, they’ll realize their Aldi quarter holder keychain is empty because they gave away their cart with the quarter in it.

So you’ll give them another quarter. And chances are, if you give them a quarter, they’re going to want to go to Aldi.